Would writing be too obvious an answer from a writer? Probably, but it is a huge part of how I cope with my negative feelings.

I do have other strategies, though, because it’s not always practical to just start writing every time a negative feeling arises.

For anger, I like to practice the pause. Give myself at least three deep breaths, or about 10 seconds, to think before replying to something that is initially upsetting. If I respond in anger, I regret it every time.

With sadness, it honestly depends. Some types of sadness call for sad music, comfort items, and as much time spent resting in bed as possible. Other types of sadness call for opposite action, like watching a comedy special, listening to upbeat music, or going out to socialize. Knowing which can be a challenge at first, but it becomes evident over time.

Jealousy is a hard one. I tend to try and refocus on obtaining the things that I want for myself instead of coveting things others have. If they are still out of my reach, perhaps I need to ask myself if they are even realistic or if I’m making myself sick over something that I’m never going to have. Mindfulness and gratitude will help me recenter if that’s the case.

When it comes to just a negative funk that I can’t seem to shake off – something that has no obvious cause – I go for two things: caring for myself and caring for my environment. Cleaning myself and my space up tends to help clear away some of the funk on its own, and I can use my clean space to do more relaxing activities that may boost my mood, like reading, watching a movie, etc, without being distracted by a mess.

Getting into more mental health specific ones…

When I feel depressed, I cope in both healthy and unhealthy ways, like most people. I do a lot of maladaptive daydreaming in severe depressions. I also do an exercise where I write encouraging, loving letters to my future self. I have had problems with non-suicidal self-injury in the past, so I write myself notes or put beautiful lyrics on my skin with washable marker when that comes up as part of a depressive episode. I keep my support network in the loop at all times instead of isolating like I’d like to. I communicate openly with my providers. I take my medication. I tell myself a lot of things like, “I’ve survived another day, I’m one day closer to no longer feeling like this.” I practice meditations specific to depression.

When I feel anxious, I fidget if I have to stay still. I move my body a lot more, get what exercise it will allow me to do daily, get more chores done, and try to burn off that excessive anxious energy. I journal my worries. Again, I keep my support network in the loop. I take my as-needed anxiety medication. I practice meditation and mindfulness.

The times that my body dysmorphia acts up, I try and shift my thoughts to a place of gratitude for all that my body does (or at least tries) to do for me. I try and remove the focus from its appearance. I think of all we’ve survived together. How it’s been so badly hurt and still healed. How it’s trying to heal from chronic illness in the best way it knows how (though, admittedly, it’s a little screwy). I remind myself that my body is the seat my soul sits in, the vessel that my heart rests in, the physical form of who I really am – a person loved by many. I will write loving notes to my body on my skin in washable marker.

Moving on to chronic illness…

This is really, really difficult. Living with chronic illness is still new to me, and it’s maddening no matter how long you’ve lived with it.

I get thoughts about not being good enough because I can’t earn the primary income like I did before. Yet, there are plenty of people who support their families from home while other family members work. The work they do has value. The work I do has value.

I get so much grief. It hits me in waves over and over again over the smallest little things. The first time, it was because I realized I’ll never be able to ride a rollercoaster again. That was heartbreaking. Coping with grief is something that I’m actively working on in therapy. It’s not as simple as just countering it with gratitude or mindfulness like I can with many less complex negative feelings. Grief has so many layers.

One thing that does help is remembering that it has enabled me to switch from writing as a side project to writing full-time as my health allows me to. That’s still a lot more writing time than I had before.

Which brings us back to the fact that writing is a huge coping skill for me in itself. When I’m able to write, I’m better at handling my everyday life, I can process my thoughts better, there’s less mental noise in my head. Having more writing time does make me a better person to be around, a better friend, a better partner. It also helps me internally. Plus, it’s been my dream since I was a child.

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I can’t possibly have covered every negative emotion here, so if you have a question or comment, please drop them below!