Once, I met a devil
and it taught me to play
with my demons
summon fire as needed.

Devils are jealous creatures
and it hated my light
wanting me to succumb
to lasting darkness.

But my light could not
for any reason
diminish
though it tried to rip it
from my soul.

And the agony
of this devil that I tried
my very best to love
trying to murder
all that was good in me
and all that was mine
inspired me.

I fought this devil
with its own devilry
and the price I paid
was that I now felt
the darkness in me
where once there was light.
I feared I had lost it
during that black fight.

I saved myself from a devil.
That would have to be enough
And, for years, it was.

It was all that there was.

I slowly learned that darkness
could not eradicate the sun
and sometimes it feels like losing
when I’ve actually overcome.

As time marched on
I came to know
darkness complements light.
That’s the beauty of a world
with both day and night.

I am not the devil I fought
nor am I a spirit of pure white.
I am simply a balance
a reflection of this world
and of worlds beyond.

Being perfect is impossible
and being too much of anything
will always feel wrong.

I met a devil and loved it
until I could see its deceit
and in its attempt to break me down
it tasted its first defeat.

I hope I burned that devil
and I hope it remembers well
that trying to burn a goddess
landed it firmly back in hell.

©️ J.A. Steckling, 2023

Mental health poetry collection coming this November.